July 28th
WARNING: Rant ahead.
GAHHHHHH!! I am so frustrated! This is one of those days I would really love a punching bag. I am frustrated, angry, depressed, antsy, agitated, stressed, uptight, cross, cranky, and just want to rob a bank. It sure would fix some of my problems. :-)
Since I have been home:
* I have been abused and bruised by my now ex boyfriend * My mother has almost been killed (twice!) by the idiots in our local ER * I've been stung 5 times and have a more severe reaction each incident * My mom, dad and I are being sued by my ex-boyfriend in small claims court. * I'm on a payment plan with the IRS and will be paying lots in interest and fines * I've only made $200 that's actually mine and not the government's since May 19th * My health insurance plan dropped me * I'm dealing with the board of the VYCC because the president is being a real (insert expletive here) * The court system has had 8 weeks to process my ex-boyfriend, and I can't leave because I need to be here for the trial * People treat me totally differently and not anywhere near as nicely as they did when I had long hair * Our computer is deleting files randomly * Our van died, we have one truck between the three of us and it's on its last legs * My mother has been saying she feels like she's going to die. The docs have predicted her imminent demise for a while now, but this is the first time I've heard my mom say it herself in all seriousness. It scares me.
It seems like everything has gone rapidly downhill since we came home. I just want to get back on the trail and not come home until I've hiked every last inch of ground between Key West and Newfoundland. I'm sick to death of stop and start, stop and start. I hate seeing my mom and the rest of my life fall apart. I despise being so darn poor.
If I had money, I'd buy my mom a nice camper van. We'd travel Newfoundland as I hiked south. We'd spend time together. She'd feel better. Maybe her congestive heart failure would get better as she spent more time at sea level. Heck, maybe she would be suddenly and miraculously cured of all of her chronic diseases!
I would pay off the IRS, for good.....the entire $2,000 tax bill, plus penalties, administrative fees and interest. I'd pay off my expected taxes for next year. I'd pay of my mom's taxes. I'd pay off my upcoming property taxes of $1357.28.
I would pay of my mother's $15,000 credit card debt, racked up from when her monthly disability payment of $350 failed to pay for everything we needed, such as food, gas, electricty etc as I was growing up. I'm planning on chipping away at her debt starting next year... when I'm thinking of becoming a wage slave instead of an independent contractor so I don't have to shuck out 30% of my income for taxes.
I just wish I had a magic wand and could fix everything with one wave. Everything seems to have exploded since we've been home.
You get the idea. My life sucks right now.
I'll hope for a miracle and keep plodding along.
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